A Thousand Pieces
by Kuma
Summary: Buffy's POV in Innocence


A Thousand Pieces 

by Kuma 

Disclaimer: I don't own them. Never did, never will. 

Feedback: Yes! I need it! 

Author's note: This is written from Buffy's P.O.V. It takes place during the time in Innocence where Buffy goes back to Angel's apartment. 

I don't know what happened to Angel. It scares me that he just disappeared without saying anything. I've never been this scared before. It goes deep down inside, like the feeling that you're going to loose the person you depend on the most. Like your best friend. But that's the problem, I've lost him. 

Angel's not stupid enough to go back to the judge alone. He'd know better, at least I hope so. No. Angel knows better than to face him alone. 

I've looked all over for him, but I haven't found him. I've been around to every place I could think of twice. I thought I would try his apartment again, maybe he came back. 

It's night, so I don't know if he's out or maybe by some fluke, he's at home. As I reached his door, I opened it, not even thinking of knocking. I enter the room and close the door behind me. 

Everything seems different. I walk over to his bed and it's made. One of Angel's shirts are laid out on it. My heart is beating faster. It feels like it's going to tear out of my chest. That means Angel must of come back. I'm so happy that I barely noticed that someone else was in the room. 

I turned and looked behind me. It's Angel! I'm so happy. I run into his arms at full force. 

"Angel!" I cry. God, he's okay. My eyes are watery. 

"Hey!" he replies. I kiss him. 

"Oh!" I envelop him in a tight hug. I can't believe he's here. 

"Hey." He repeats. 

A thousand questions run through my mind. I pull away from him. "Oh, my God! I was so worried!" I tell him. 

He looks at me. "I didn't mean to frighten you." 

"Where did you go?" I ask him. I'm still overwhelmed that he's still here. I'm so relieved. 

"Been around," Angel replied. He says it like it was nothing. 

I really don't care. "Ohhh. Oh, my God!" I say. I hug him again, making sure he's still here. We separate and he walks over towards his bed. "I was freaking out! You just disappeared." 

"What? I took off." He picks up his shirt on the bed. 

I don't understand. I'm so confused. "But you didn't say anything. You just left." 

He puts on his shirt. "Yeah. Like I really wanted to stick around after that," his voice is cold. 

"What?" I can't believe what I just heard. Maybe I just misunderstood him. 

"You got a lot to learn about men, kiddo." I stare at him. "Although I guess you proved that last night." 

What in the world is is telling me? How can he tell me this. I fight back the tears. "What are you saying?" I ask hopefully that he's not really saying this. 

Angel walks away. "Let's not make an issue out of it, okay?" he says it like it's not a big deal. He walks over to get his coat. "In fact, let's not talk about it at all." Angel puts on his coat. "It happened." 

God, why was he doing this to me? "I, I don't understand. Was it m-me? Was I not good?" I say meekly. My eyes water and I try to fight back the tears, but it's so hard. My heart feels like it's being ripped in two. 

Angel lets out a laugh. "You were great. Really. I thought you were a pro," he says snidely. 

"How can you say this to me?" I ask in disbelief. How can he hurt me so much? 

"Lighten up," he tells me. "It was a good time. It doesn't mean like we have to make a big deal." 

"It *is* a big deal!" I tell him. I can't believe he thinks that this was nothing. 

"It's what? Bells ringing, fireworks, a dulcet choir of pretty little birdies?" He lets out another laugh. "Come on, Buffy. It's not like I've never been there before." 

Angel reached his hand up to my face. But I won't have any of it. I jerk back. "Don't touch me." I say harshly. 

He shakes his finger at me. "I should've know you wouldn't be able to handle it." He makes for the door. 

"Angel!" I yell desperately. He stops and he turns to face me. I let the tears go. It's hard for me to speak. "I love you." I tell him. 

He points at his finger coolly at me. "Love you, too." he says it with no emotion. He turns away and opens the door. "I'll call you." He says as he goes out the door. 

I watch him close it behind him. I'm so confused and upset. How can he do this? I close my eyes and tears continue to come out. I let myself fall to the ground. 

I still don't know why he said those things. God, I hurt so much right now. My heart's not split in two anymore. It's been ripped to shreds and ran over a thousand times. I don't understand. I cry out into the empty room, not wanting to know. 


End file.
